Post-Passion Pontification (Part 1)

In all likelihood, none of this is going to be coherent. The daunting task of compiling four days worth of non-stop spiritual insights haunts me when I go to sleep at night, but I’m going to do my best. For those unaware, I spent the first few days of 2006 in Nashville, Tennessee at the Passion ’06 conference. It was unbelievably powerful. I could write pages about every main session, every breakout session, and every community group and family group meeting. But it’s all such a blur, so I’m not going to try it that way. Rather, I am going to write about some of the many things God dropped on me during this conference. Many of these things were not even spoken about at Passion, but God isn’t limited to sessions. He’s bigger than that.

One of the most prevalent thoughts running through my head was the question that I think crossed everybody’s mind at some point during the conference. And even if you weren’t at Passion ’06, you’ve been at this place before. The feeling is strictly divine. God is more real to you than ever before. Every night He leaves you speechless. All you can do is throw yourself at His feet and worship Him. How on earth do we leave an amazingly spiritual event in this state of mind, full of determination to live wholeheartedly for God, and then hold onto that in the weeks and months to come? Even though we are on a spiritual high at that point in time, we know the emotion won’t last. How do you live for God when the emotion and the determination are gone?

I did not find the answer to this question at the conference. I thought about it, but I could not solve it. It was not until the drive home when my friend asked me that very question that it hit me. “What really stops us from living the way we want to live for God?” We decided it was not lack of direction. We are surrounded by solid, Biblical teaching on every topic imaginable. We are grounded in a local church that is dedicated to sound doctrine. It has to be something within ourselves. And in that moment I said out loud, “How bad do we really want it? Is our desire to pursue Christ wholeheartedly truly the thing we want most in life?” And there it was. It’s not that I haven’t loved God. It’s not that I haven’t been “right” with God. It’s that He hasn’t been First in my life.

My progress in pursuing godliness is directly proportional to the importance and sincerity with which I consider that pursuit. If I devote the MOST effort toward the end of glorifying God, I am going to make the MOST progress in changing my life so that I can reflect maximum glory to His Name. I’ve said this many times before: I am the only thing keeping me from what (and Who) I want to want most. Making God the main desire of my soul is more than a declaration. It’s an entire lifestyle. If God is going to be the Center, I have to push more stuff to the periphery. Christ paid the price of my failure. My response must be in turn to crucify my sinful desires on my daily cross and live a life of worship toward Him.

Father God, let it be my zealous endeavor to pursue You with all that I have. Let me not forget these things which you have revealed to me. Let me dwell upon them day and night so that I may never cease praising Your holy name. Pour out upon me strength to continue on, and to change. I never want to lose sight. Be the center of my life. Be the place I fix my eyes. You are worthy.