My life was changed today by a DVD.
Sounds drastic? Maybe. But the way I see it, my life is changed every day by something. One day, some time ago, it was changed by Jesus Christ, and it will never be the same. But changes occur in my life every day on a smaller scale, and there’s always something that causes those changes. They can be good changes, or bad changes. They can be minor changes, or they can be major changes. Today, it was good. Today, it was by a DVD.
Specifically, it was a concert DVD of the band Delirious?.
Where am I going with this? I’m not sure yet, but this is the first time I’ve been able to write in weeks. Because I want to write. Because I want to tell you how my life changed today. See, it was really God who changed my life, again. He has to do that a lot, with me. But He does it in some pretty cool ways.
It was a pretty sucky week.
Why? Because I chose to believe the lie that my problems are bigger than Jesus. Because I chose to blind myself to the hope that has been made freely available to me through the cross. Because I chose to give in to despair, and regret. I chose to let the memories and the recurring pain overwhelm me. I chose it. At any time I could have come running back to the open arms of my Savior, seeking forgiveness and peace, but instead I chose to continue in sin and doubt.
I hardened my heart this morning at church. Even as I listened to the words of the songs we were singing, songs of praise to God, and as I listened to God’s Word being preached, I hardened my heart and refused to listen to God calling me. He was calling me to repent and to trust once again in Him, but I would not. If you asked me, I would have said that I could not. I could, actually. But I wouldn’t.
On a whim, I went to the store this afternoon and bought the Delirious? “Now Is The Time” concert DVD. I happen to love the band, and I’ll be seeing them in concert in a few weeks. I was in no mood to listen to worship music, but I came home this evening and started watching it anyway. I thank God today for the ministry of this band and the incredible work they are doing for the kingdom. And I thank God for how He used their music today to change my life. These words crushed my heart. I opened up my soul and let the Spirit work. After days of suppressing the truth, I finally let it flow over my sin, my pain, and my despair, and I felt free again. I could see again.
I’m waiting here for my life to change
When the waters stir you can rearrange me
Just one touch is all I need
I’ve nothing much but the wounds I feel
I’m looking for the hand of the miracle man
Holy, you are holy
Who was and is and is to come
Holy, you are holy, Saviour, Healer
I’m standing at the feet of the miracle makerIt’s not about Delirious? though. It’s about God, and how He can and will use whatever means necessary to lead us to repentance when we turn to ourselves, away from Him. Today, God ordained to use a particular passion of mine to convict me of my sin, but He could have done it anyway He wanted, and I know that He will be faithful to do so because He will never let me go, through the calm and through the storm.
The temptation is still within me to turn back to the doubts and the pain, but there’s a promise within me that is more powerful still.
When it’s all falling down on you
You’re crying out but you’re breaking in two
When it’s all crashing down on you
When there’s nothing you can do
There is someone who can carry you
Every little thing’s gonna be alright
