Uncontainable

If I say, "I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name," there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot.
- Jeremiah 20:9

My God is uncontainable. As I am filled with the knowledge of God, and with the Spirit of God, there is an overflow. And the more I am filled, the more praise flows out toward God. This overflow by one means accomplishes two purposes. As I speak and live the praise of God, and lift high the name of Christ, I am at the same time glorifying God and shining as a light for Him. It is Christ himself who presents this picture of the shining light in a dark world, saying: “Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matt. 5:15-16). If indeed we follow Christ, who is “the light of the world,” then we “will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12). And so having this light of life, Christ within us, we must therefore shine.

Returning now Jeremiah 20, we may surely say that part of shining the light of Christ is to mention Him and speak in His name. If indeed our relationship with Christ is genuine, any attempt to suppress this light, to “put it under a basket,” is not only foolish but ultimately impossible. I love how Jeremiah words this phrase, saying “I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot” because we see that he has tried. He knows firsthand what it is like to try to contain Christ within himself. In sin he stubbornly tries to restrain and he becomes weary, until at last he realizes that indeed he cannot do it. The name of Christ becomes within him a burning fire. Consider for a moment this metaphor he uses: “a burning fire shut up in my bones.” Quite honestly, I do not know what a burning fire shut up in my bones would feel like, but the picture carries with it an intensity that I believe conveys the feeling inside of Jeremiah. He is not trying to say that it is physically painful to attempt to stifle the light of Christ, but he is presenting the idea that it is foolish and tiring to try.

I find myself suddenly connected to this Old Testament prophet. I know what Jeremiah is saying here because I have tried it myself so often. I am sure there is not a week that goes by during which I do not try to curb Christ’s work in my life by refusing to shine. And sometimes I stubbornly continue in this, and indeed I grow weary in my faith until at last I rid myself of my pride and surrender once again to my Savior. My application of this verse is to memorize it, meditate on it, and bring it to mind when I am tempted to suppress Christ. Let me think about the fruitlessness of my attempts before I attempt them. Let me see clearly what will ultimately result and save myself the weariness and the pain of the process. I cannot contain my God, and indeed I do not wish to try.

A Fire in My Heart

I came across a Bible verse tonight that I am sure I have never read or heard before. I make no claim at all to have any great knowledge of the Bible, but I cannot believe that I would have read over and not remembered a verse such as this, so I conclude that I have never seen it. I am stunned.

If I say, "I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name," there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot.
- Jeremiah 20:9

I'm just going to sit here at this most beautiful verse for awhile. Perhaps I will even write something about it later. But for now I will sit and think.

Decisions

There is a point in every person’s life at which he or she must make a decision about his or her life. Or rather, there are many such points, but whenever we get to them, it feels like there cannot possibly be or have been a more important decision to make. And that is also true, for in that moment there is no more important decision save the one that must presently be made.

I need not specify examples of such decisions, for as you read this I expect that these points in your life, past, present, and future, will bring themselves to mind. When you think about these decisions, your mind runs over all the possible repercussions of the decision. In past decisions, you think of what has been, or might have been; in future decisions, what might yet be. You think of what your life could look like, of all that could change, because of a mere thought, a conclusion formulated in the inner workings of your conscious mind.

And yet this evening as I find myself at one such point in my life, and verily I feel that no point before has held such significance, and my mind is filled with thoughts of the future unknown, I cannot help but think that this decision is not going to be the defining factor in that future, but rather a point from which a series of new decisions will be birthed. Deciding upon one thing tonight is not going to transport me automatically to that destination which I envision past the door of this decision. It will, however, allow for me to make those decisions each day of my life which will indeed bring me to that desired end.

I have no intention to downplay the importance of such big decisions in life as previously mentioned, but I also want to caution myself against the danger of being caught up in the vision of where I want this decision to bring me and lose sight of the truly significant and difficult decisions that I must make tomorrow, and the day after, and each day forthcoming. These are the decisions that are going to carry me to the place, and the person, I want to be.

Tonight, I dream of who I want to be. Tomorrow I will still be who I am. But this decision I make tonight will offer to me an unending series of future decisions which will ultimately shape me into the person whom I now decide I want to become. Though my resolve may and will at times fail, a decision once made cannot be undone.

So it is with great fervor and determination that I now dive into this decision. I pray that tomorrow the power of the Spirit of God, dwelling in me as the gift of Christ, will strengthen me to make the decisions that will complement, and not counteract, that decision which I now make. I pray that I will rely not on my willpower, but on Christ, and the knowledge that it is not only my will, but God’s, which I am now pursuing, and I acknowledge that it is by grace alone that the two now coincide.

You will not be replaced.

You will not be replaced, Hope of Glory

If I may continue with the trend of song-inspired blogs, I was listening today to Matt Maher’s latest CD, titled “Overflow.” (Note: Matt Maher is amazing. You probably haven’t heard of him, but you should have.). Actually, I’ve been listening to it all week, and particularly one song called “Alive in You.” The bridge says simply this: “You will not be replaced. You will not be replaced. You will not be replaced, Hope of Glory.”

Every time this part of the song comes around, I think of how often I try to replace God with other things. I know I just talked about this a few posts ago, but I’m beginning to realize how prevalent the sin of idolatry is in my life. I am so prone to the sin of idolatry that I think there are very few things I don’t try to elevate above God. My flesh is so opposed to the idea of God being first in my life that there is nothing I won’t try to live for more than I am living for the risen Christ.

By grace I can say that I am seeking to devote my life to God, but still I find myself faced every day with the temptation to forget the truth of Colossians 1:17-18. “He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything.” I do not mean that I am ever consciously thinking: “With what or whom can I replace God today?” The sin of idolatry takes a more subtle approach, by directing my attention and my affections ever more and more to the things of this earth rather than to the things above, than to Christ above.

Yet there is hope in this simple statement: You will not be replaced, Hope of Glory. My attempts to replace God do not come anywhere close to accomplishing their intent except in my own heart. I may seek to replace Christ in my life, but that does not change the truth that He is before all things. Though I say to God with both my words and my actions, “You are not my God in this moment,” His sure reply is: “I AM.” He is still the Hope of Glory, which is the assurance that He is going to be glorified, if not by me than by the rocks, by the stars, and by all of creation. If these know that God will not be replaced, how much more should this truth be the starting point of my every day? When I wake in the morning, let my first declaration be one that recognizes God’s position: “Today, you will not be replaced in my heart, Hope of Glory.”

On A Night Like This...

On a night like this, I could fall in love.

It doesn’t take much to send my mind running. As I drove home tonight listening to this most excellent song by Dave Barnes, I thought to myself of how drastically my perspective on God, life, and everything else changes from day to day.

Tonight, I am in love with God, and I let my mind wander over all the great things I want to do to pursue godliness and glorify God. Tonight, I want to change. Tonight, there is nothing more exciting than the future and the possibilities it holds.

Tomorrow my vision may show me something different. Tomorrow, I see only my present circumstances, my current shortcomings, and my ongoing sins. Tomorrow, I am just a man who has fallen time and time again, and tomorrow I have no hope for ever being the person I want to be, the person God wants me to be.

Tonight, I want to stay. Tomorrow, I want to go.
Tonight, I am loud. Tomorrow, I withdraw
Tonight, I shine. Tomorrow, I am subdued.

What makes tonight so different from tomorrow, though? My standing before God has not changed: righteous. My promises from God have not changed: everlasting. My source of strength for every day has not changed: Jesus Christ.

Oh God, would that my heart would be turned ever toward You; that my soul would yearn for You both day and night, today and tomorrow. Let me be steadfast, solid, stable.

I long for continuity, and I find it not in me but in my God who does not cease to pour out His grace on me, and who does not pull His love from me.

Just thought I’d throw these thoughts out there. I know I haven’t said much. My thoughts are scattered tonight, but maybe there’s something dwelling in that mess. I’ll try to update in the next few days with what’s been going on in my life over the past week.

Post-Passion Processing (Part 3)

On the first morning of Passion ’07, our community group began digging into the book of Colossians. It would take me months to recount all of the things that God has taught me through this book during and since Passion, but I want to share briefly some of the things we talked about in my family group from Colossians 1:16. Paul writes: For by [Christ] all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him.

We considered the implications of this truth. If truly all things have been created by Christ, why then should we ever deign to elevate anything above the Creator? This very temptation, the sin of idolatry, is common in the Bible. Most of the descriptions of the sin of the Israelites throughout the Old Testament include the word “idolatrous.” Sadly, the same word can often be used to describe God’s people today. How easy it is for us to get caught up in the creation and disregard the Creator! Rather, we should enjoy the creation solely because it reflects and points us to the beauty of the Maker. I think if we really grasped this truth, that the creation is never more wonderful, or more beautiful, or more glorious than the Creator, our lives would look vastly different.

We continued with another thought: we are included in “all things.” Just as we may be tempted to elevate possessions, or status, or relationships above God, we also are faced with the constant fleshly desire to elevate ourselves above God. This is more commonly known as pride. Every time we seek to take control of a situation, or complain about our circumstances, or in any way attempt to thwart God’s perfect plan for our lives, we are exhibiting pride. We put ourselves in the place of God, and therefore elevate ourselves above Him.

How do we combat this? I believe we can find part of the answer further on in Colossians. In chapter 3 Paul exhorts those who have been raised with Christ to “keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth” (3:1-2). This sounds like a simple remedy to such an overwhelming sin, but there it is. By the power of Christ working constantly in us, we may turn our minds and our affections heavenward.

Let us then, therefore, look upward to our wonderful Maker. Let our look not to ourselves or to the created around us, but to the sovereign Creator who is more worthy to be praised than anything we might praise on this earth. Let us not rob Him of the glory that is due His name and no other.

Post-Passion Processing (Part 2)

If I haven’t confused you enough by starting this discussion of Passion ’07 with a post that really said very little about the formal content of the conference, I’m going to try to throw things off just a little bit more and jump straight into Wednesday afternoon, the third day of the conference. As with most four-day conferences, Passion attendees have the option of going to various breakout sessions in the afternoons of each day. On Wednesday afternoon, I decided to attend a breakout entitled “Undistracted Devotion” by a very godly and passionate man named Ben Stuart from Texas A&M. The topic of this particular breakout session was taking full advantage of the opportunities offered to a single person in the single years of his or her life.

Ben Stuart proposed that the reason most people become frustrated with their singleness is because they are doing it wrong. That’s right; we are not being single correctly. There will never be another season of our lives in which we are so free from obligation and responsibility; there will never be another season of our lives in which we have so much free time. And what do we do with these gifts from God that come with our singleness? Typically, and problematically, we do nothing at all.

What would it look like if we really made the most of these years? Would we dive into God’s Word with an intense hunger, seeking to grow and strengthen our roots in Him? Would we begin to invest heavily in those younger than us? Would we be willing to up and leave if God were to call us somewhere? Without the distraction of things like family, we can more fully “set [our] minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Col. 3:2). Paul writes in I Corinthians 7, “One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided.”

He said some other great things too, but that was enough for me. After this breakout, God began to pound some thoughts into my head that only grew stronger after Passion ended and as I began to seek God’s will for this next season of my life. I asked myself the question: How can I best focus on God this semester? The answer is something I am not completely sure of yet, and even now I am in prayer for the exact direction my life is going to take. But in my zealous endeavor to grow in my faith and place God at the forefront of my life, I’ve taken the first step and made a decision that I do firmly believe is God’s will for this next season of my life: I won’t be attending school this semester.

This is not something I have decided on my own, but something I have sought counsel about and most importantly, prayed about. Though it may seem like a sudden and rash decision at first glance, I am trusting that God is leading me in this. So… why? Well, the short is answer is because I believe that there’s something more important than school, and it’s the truth that the Savior of the world wants to cultivate a relationship with me, and that’s simply mind-blowing. More? Well, I mentioned in my previous post how the past several months of my life have been volatile at best, and until Passion ’07 this week, I’ve been standing somewhere inbetween the solid rock and the sinking sand. But my experience at Passion ’07 isn’t going to keep me on the rock. I am taking this sabbatical from school because I believe God is calling me to a season of undistracted devotion to Him. I want to get my life back, and the way to do that is to give it wholly to Him. Couldn’t I do that while going to school also? Maybe, but all I’m saying is that I believe this is what God wants for me right now. Taking a semester off of school isn’t going to ruin my life plans, and it certainly isn’t a wrench in God’s plans, but it may very well prove to be a defining season of my life as I wholeheartedly attempt to pursue God and His continued will for me.

So what am I going to do? I don’t know yet. God knows. I don’t. That’s enough. I appreciate your prayers as I seek His very specific will in this matter. I’m open to thoughts; I believe He is a God who speaks and who can and does use His people to convey His will to His other people.

Sorry to everyone whom I have not had a chance to speak with personally about this. I wish I could have talked with each of you directly, but God has been working quickly and I’m just following as best I can. If you want to talk, send me an e-mail, give me a phone call, talk to me on instant messenger, poke me on Facebook, or just come knocking at my door. I want to hear from you.

Post-Passion Processing (Part 1)

Well, I’m back.

It has been nearly two months, and I will not deny that though the grace of God has certainly abounded in my life, it has been a difficult two months. And so it was in a volatile yet determined state of mind that I went into the Passion ’07 conference this past week. Some of you may recall my discussions of some of the things I learned at Passion ’06 last year, but I was in a very different place spiritually one year ago. I wish I could fully communicate to you how God used this week of teaching, worship, and incredible fellowship to alter my life and strengthen me and renew me. I wish I could convey just how faithful He has been to me in the way He has never given up on me and the way He has continued to pursue me, though my attempts at pursuing Him have been half-hearted at best. But I would never be able to find the words, so I just want to share with you some of the things He taught me and is now teaching me through my experiences at Passion ’07.

For those who did not attend, the focus of Passion this year was, as it always is, the glory of God. Specifically, the messages and community groups dug into the book of Colossians to take a look at Christ our Savior, “the image of the invisible God” (Col. 1:15), and the one who deserves to be first and foremost in our lives.

But, as typically happens, God did not limit Himself. Indeed though the truth of each of the messages and breakout sessions was encouraging and applicable, and the worship was Spirit-filled and powerful, I must say that the overwhelming highlight of Passion ’07 for me was the time spent in my community and family group. Again, for those unfamiliar with Passion ’07, there were something like 24,000 college students in attendance. Those 24,000 were broken down into 20 smaller community groups, and each community group was divided into smaller family groups of about eight people.

After being settled into my family group on the first evening of the conference (settled into family group = “Find someone you don’t know. Now you two people find two more people you don’t know. Then you four people find four other people you don’t know.”), I wrote down each of my fellow group members’ names in my notebook: Nathan, Amy, Joel, Erin, Barry, Heather, Denice. And then I wrote this short prayer, “Father, use these people to impact me in a powerful way over the next few days. And use me to speak into their lives as You will. Thank You for bringing each of us together; for Your sovereignty and Your perfect wisdom. I am excited and expectant for You to do great things.” I had no idea how completely this prayer would be answered in the days ahead.

You, my dear reader, are probably at this point thinking: “Okay, this is all well and good for you, but I want to know about Passion, and Louie, and Piper, and God!” And so I will here remind you that I will get to these things in due time, but the heart of Passion for me this year was the time I spent with my family group. I again find myself short of words when I try to explain what made these times so meaningful to me, but God used these seven complete strangers to convict me, encourage me, exhort me, and pray for me throughout the course of those four days. There was an honesty and openness among our group as we together processed what God was revealing to us of Himself. There was genuine care for each other as we listened to each other’s struggles and in turn sought to speak truth into specific circumstances and areas of confusion. I should not need to say that I came out of Passion seven friends richer.

How does any of this apply to you? Perhaps not very well yet, but I want to give you a picture of how God worked primarily through a means that I did not expect before I attempt to digest and share the more formal content of the conference. In short, Passion was exactly what I needed at this exact time in my life, but God knew that long ago and He planned for it to be so. And Passion was just the beginning of what I trust will be one of the most incredible and God-centered seasons of my life so far as I run after God with renewed motivation and strength.

I think I’m on the brink of something large.