A Battle of Desires

Generally, I do not write about personal life or experience on here, but I want to illustrate clearly something God has put firmly on my heart today. Some of you may be able to relate, and I pray that you all may benefit in some small way.

This morning, I woke up with a horrific feeling of anxiety, an overwhelming and untraceable dread. Basically, I felt awful “for no good reason at all.” You know those days. Shortly after I got out of bed, the feeling spread from mental to physical and I had no desire to move, or think, or speak. Apathy consumed me. Trying to ignore it, I skipped my time with the Lord and I went to class. After an agonizing three hours of early morning lecture, I came home and tried to fall back asleep. My attempt at escape failed miserably, and I lay wide awake, my mind racing with an unwelcome stream of thoughts. My body and soul were equally weary, but rest was unattainable.

Eventually, I got back out of bed and tried to get some homework done. I thought maybe if I forced myself to do something, the feeling would go away. I tried to fill the growing void with anything except that which was solely necessary. The Spirit within me screamed for the Word of God, for a time of fellowship with the Father, but my flesh refused with all its might. The battle drove me to a point of desperation. As the day went on, the morning’s feeling of dread grew into something far worse. I felt a distance from God that, by the grace of God, I had not felt in quite some time. As my sin took over and I refused to receive that grace today, the indescribable fear of separation from my Savior gripped me.

I got into my car, drove to the top of Kennesaw Mountain, found a quiet place, and cried out to God. As I began to pray, there was an immediate outpouring of peace on my soul. I prayed Psalm 38 to God: “Lord, all my desire is before You!” “For I confess my iniquity; I am full of anxiety because of my sin.” “Do not forsake me, O LORD; O my God, do not be far from me!” I laid before Him my divine desire to seek Him and my sinful desire to turn from Him; I asked that he ignite in me the former and remove utterly the latter. I praise God that “he inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock, making my footsteps firm” (Psalm 40:1-2).

It is easy now to see how I could have avoided the painful process of sin manifesting itself in my life. Had I but buried myself in the Word at first inclination of sin pulling at my soul, the grace of God could have reigned supreme in my life today. But in that moment this morning, I surrendered to the lie that I could function apart from God even for the shortest of moments. My lesson learned is a simple one: rely on God alone. His Word alone can satisfy. Trust in His promises alone. Lay all of your desires before Him; let Him empower the ones that glorify Him and eradicate the ones that do not. Then, pursue your desire for Him with renewed diligence and devotion. Fall in love with Him anew.

The Depth of Forgiveness

Luke 7:44-48 –

Turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave Me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet. You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with perfume. For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little." Then He said to her, "Your sins have been forgiven."

For the full context of this story from the gospel of Luke, check out Luke 7:36-50; I want to quickly focus in on Christ’s words in the excerpt above. This woman was known as a sinner in this particular city, and Simon, the Pharisee whom Jesus was dining with, marvels at how Jesus allows her to love Him as she sees fit. Jesus responds by saying that it is evident that she has been forgiven much because she loves much. Her love is an outward expression of her personal knowledge of how much she has been forgiven.

The important thing to see here is that Christ is not saying that this woman’s sins are greater in number or magnitude than the sins of any other person. The easy interpretation of this passage is to say that because this woman was infamous for her outward sin, she was, in fact, a worse sinner than others, and therefore was able to receive more forgiveness. Not so; this woman was able to receive more forgiveness because she had a greater awareness of the true depth of her sin. The one “who is forgiven little” is not forgiven little because he has not sinned as greatly, but because in his pride he is blind to his sin. We cannot understand forgiveness until we first understand our sin.

And as love is the appropriate and necessary response to a true understanding of forgiveness, we can now answer the question “How can I love God more?” by saying: to first seek greater understanding of sin. As you use the Word of God to further your awareness of indwelling sin and the sinful desires which subtly tear at your soul, you will grow in thankfulness toward the Savior and in expression of love for Him.

How much have you been forgiven?

Jesus Loves Radical Faith

Matthew 8:5-13 –

And when Jesus entered Capernaum, a centurion came to Him, imploring Him, and saying, "Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, fearfully tormented." Jesus said to him, "I will come and heal him." But the centurion said, "Lord, I am not worthy for You to come under my roof, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I also am a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to this one, 'Go!' and he goes, and to another, 'Come!' and he comes, and to my slave, 'Do this!' and he does it."

Now when Jesus heard this, He marveled and said to those who were following, "Truly I say to you, I have not found such great faith with anyone in Israel […]”

And Jesus said to the centurion, "Go; it shall be done for you as you have believed." And the servant was healed that very moment.

I want to focus on one main point in this familiar story: Jesus loves radical faith. When we read this account, we must see it as more than just another miracle of healing. While we now know the full extent of Jesus’ ministry, and we know that Christ is capable of anything, consider the situation from the perspective of the centurion. Obviously he had heard of Jesus’ works, but he was asking Christ to do something that, as far as we know, had not yet been done. Up until this point, all of Christ’s healing had been done in direct contact with the afflicted. This centurion had the faith to believe that Christ could do something huge, something unheard of. It is worth noting, however, that he asked for something that lined up with what he did know about Jesus.

If we then apply this concept of radical faith to modern Christianity, we must first think about how much more we know of Christ. We are told even that He “is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think” (Eph. 3:20). Christ Himself promises that with great faith “nothing will be impossible to you” (Matt. 17:20). Discern first whether your request lines up with biblical truth, and then ask in faith for God to do big things. Ask for something so crazy and seemingly impossible that the only way it could possibly succeed is for God to make it happen. Stretch the limits of your faith so that through you God may accomplish much. This is where human responsibility and divine intervention meet: as you increase in faith, God will increase His work in and through you, and ultimately His glory will increase.

What does zeal look like?

According to J.C. Ryle in his book Practical Religion:

“Zeal in religion is a burning desire to please God, to do His will, and to advance His glory in the world in every possible way. It is a desire which no man feels by nature—which the Spirit puts in the heart of every believer when he is converted—but which some believers feel so much more strongly than others that they alone deserve to be called “zealous” men…
A zealous man in religion is pre-eminently a man of one thing. It is not enough to say that he is earnest, hearty, uncompromising, thorough-going, whole-hearted, fervent in spirit. He only sees one thing, he cares for one thing, he lives for one thing, he is swallowed up in one thing; and that one thing is to please God. Whether he lives, or whether he dies—whether he has health, or whether he has sickness—whether he is rich, or whether he is poor—whether he pleases man, or whether he gives offence—whether he is wise, or whether he is thought foolish—whether he gets blame, or whether he gets praise—whether he gets honor, or whether he gets shame—for all this the zealous man cares nothing at all. He burns for one thing; and that one thing is to please God, and to advance God’s glory. If he is consumed in the very burning, he cares not for it—he is content. He feels that, like a lamp, he is made to burn; and if consumed in burning, he has but done the work for which God appointed him. Such a one will always find a sphere for his zeal. If he cannot preach, work, and give money, he will cry, and sigh, and pray… if he cannot fight in the valley of Joshua, he will do the work of Moses, Aaron, and Hur, on the hill (Exodus 17:9-13). If he is cut off from working himself, he will give the Lord no rest till help is raised up from another quarter, and the work is done. This is what I mean when I speak of “zeal” in religion.”

Are you zealous for God?

The Lord Is Good

I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord; I have no good besides You.”
Psalm 16:2

Good and upright is the LORD; Therefore He instructs sinners in the way.
Psalm 25:8

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Psalm 27:13

O taste and see that the LORD is good; how blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
Psalm 34:8

Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart!
Psalm 73:1

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works.
Psalm 73:28

Indeed, the LORD will give what is good, and our land will yield its produce.
Psalm 85:12

For the LORD is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting and His faithfulness to all generations.
Psalm 100:5

Praise the LORD! Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
Psalm 106:1

But You, O God, the Lord, deal kindly with me for Your name's sake; Because Your lovingkindness is good, deliver me;
Psalm 109:21

The LORD is good to all and His mercies are over all His works.
Psalm 145:9

If we believe that the Bible is true in every regard, we must acknowledge goodness as one of God's most notable attributes. These verses above are a mere glimpse into the vast collection of Scripture which speaks of God’s goodness. He is good when He pours out abundant blessing. He is good when He comforts in the midst of suffering. He is good when He answers prayer. He is good when He provides strength in weakness.

Let us first see that God is always good to us. In Psalm 109 we see that His love for us is good. In Psalm 100 we read that His love is everlasting. Therefore we may conclude that His goodness towards us is indeed everlasting. There is never a moment when the Lord is not good. Regardless of circumstances, know that God is good to His people. When you are dry spiritually, God is good to you. Meditate on this thought. In Psalm 73 we see that the nearness of God is to be our good. Even when you don’t feel Him, and when you don’t hear Him, He is good to you and He is near to you.

Then, see that God Himself is good. “O taste and see that the Lord is good.” In pouring out goodness to us, He is offering us the very essence of Himself. To be anything but good to us would be to go against His very nature, and we know that “He cannot deny Himself” (2 Tim. 2:13). All that He does is good. All that He is, is good. “For the Lord is good.”

And only He is good. Psalm 16:2 – “I have no good besides You.” We certainly are not good. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23). Though God made us good in His image, we have all rejected Him and turned our own way. But in His goodness, we “are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (Rom. 3:24). He alone is good!

Look now to the fact that we can hope in His goodness. “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.” Because His goodness is everlasting, let us ever look to that goodness as the source of our hope. Believe that even if you do not see it now, in the midst of trials and pain, in the midst of spiritual dryness, you will see the goodness of the Lord! He will deliver you into the land of the living where you will experience His goodness poured out in its fullness.

Know, also, that the “Lord is good to all.” There is not one who is exempt from the goodness of God! “Good and upright is the LORD; Therefore He instructs sinners in the way.” All of us are sinners. In His goodness, He guides us in truth. He leads us on the path of righteousness so that we might be “conformed to the image of His Son” (Rom. 8:29). In His goodness, so that we might spend eternity with Him, he even “gave His one and only Son” (John 3:16) so that by believing in Him we might gain eternal life! Is there any greater proof of His goodness toward us, than “that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8)?

How then shall we respond? “Praise the LORD! Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!” Respond with praise and thanksgiving. Respond with a life that reflects eternal gratefulness and worship toward a good God. Respond by giving Him your all, and “finding out what pleases the Lord” (Eph. 5:10). Find out, and do! The Lord is good!

The Rebelution: A Report

As I mentioned, I had the opportunity to attend the first ever Rebelution Tour conference last weekend in Sacramento, California. After an extremely early departure on Friday morning, Jason and I were on our way across the continent. I must first say that God was sovereign over the entire weekend, from delayed and nearly-missed flights to inclement weather, and over every moment of the conference itself, from beginning to end. For a full discourse on God’s faithfulness over the weather in particular, check out Alex & Brett’s summary here.

For me, the event was a fresh reminder of the concepts which Alex and Brett have been writing about over the past few months on The Rebelution. It was an amazing experience to hear first Alex expound on the Myth of Adolescence, and then later Brett on how to Do Hard Things. God has used this concept of “doing hard things” to cause me to take my faith more seriously. I know that becoming more like Christ is hard work, but that is exactly what Christ has called His followers to do. The Christian life is not easy, but by the power of the Holy Spirit we can attempt to live in a manner worthy of Christ by doing the hard things. Alex and Brett eloquently and effectively conveyed their heart for this generation, and I trust that God used their words to inspire teens and adults alike to pursue excellence and take up the battle that Christians are fighting against the culture of this world.

However, beyond anything Alex and Brett said during the conference, their greatest impact on me was the way in which they walked out their faith. Jason and I had the privilege of spending some time interacting with the Harris family; though our time was short, I was encouraged by their obvious love for God even in the little aspects of life. They, truly, are doers of the Word, and not merely hearers (and speakers!).

On the long and dreary plane ride home, I reflected back over the weekend and the one thought that stuck out in my mind was that God is at work. He is raising up leaders who will in turn raise up a generation that will do hard things for the glory of His name. I am confident of God’s hand pushing the mission of The Rebelution, and I am excited and expectant about what God is going to continue doing through Alex and Brett and every person they have the opportunity to impact.

Alex Harris, Session #1 of The Rebelution:

Brett Harris, Session #3 of The Rebelution:

Mr. Harris, Alex, Mrs. Harris, & Brett:

Off to Sacramento

Well, tomorrow morning at 6:30 AM I'll be on a plane for Sacramento, California for the first ever Rebelution Tour event. Please pray for safe travel and for God to work in mighty ways through this conference. Please also pray for Alex & Brett Harris as they prepare to share their hearts with a gathering of our generation. I shall return on Monday with much to write about!

Seek wisdom and apply humility

One of the ways God speaks to His children is through the wisdom and advice of other Christians. Of course, the Bible holds precedence over any word somebody might offer, but in cases where the offered words of encouragement or direction line up with Scripture, we would do well to pray fervently over the advice and discern whether it is truly of God, and if yes, to act accordingly. This is a huge part of Biblical fellowship, to build one another up and allow God to speak where He wills. God can speak through anyone (or anything) He wishes, but He will most often use the people who are close to you and know you best, because they are the ones you are most likely to pay attention to.

Take a look at this example from Exodus 18 – Moses has just led the people of Israel out of Egypt into the wilderness. Moses has seen God’s power at work: the ten plagues, the parting of the Red Sea, the provision of manna, the water from the rock, etc. At this point in history, Moses probably knows God better than any other man ever has. Every day, Moses presides as judge over disputes between the people and acts as the voice of God on their behalf. Then, Moses’ father-in-law, Jethro, shows up. After Moses tells Jethro all that God has done for the people of Israel, Jethro believes in God, saying “Now I know that the LORD is greater than all the gods; indeed, it was proven when they dealt proudly against the people.” The following day, when Jethro sees Moses acting as judge among the people, he says to Moses, “The thing that you are doing is not good. You will surely wear out, both yourself and these people who are with you, for the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone. Now listen to me: I will give you counsel, and God be with you.” Jethro goes on to outline a plan for more effectively governing the people. And Moses does exactly as Jethro suggests.

We must take a moment here to admire Moses’ humility. Keep in mind that Moses is about 80 years old at this point, and his father-in-law, who just heard about God for the first time about 24 hours prior, is trying to give him advice on how to handle the people of Israel. Why should Jethro know better than Moses how to lead the Israelites? Even though Jethro was a “new believer,” if you will, God used him to speak to Moses. God had been speaking directly and audibly to Moses for awhile, so it would seem that if God wanted the people governed as Jethro suggested He could have just told Moses, but I believe God does it this way to humble Moses. And indeed Moses proves himself to be humble.

Now, you may think: “Obviously Moses could see that Jethro’s advice was reasonable and beneficial, so of course he listened and did as he was advised.” To that I ask: how many times have you been given advice that you knew was solid and Biblically accurate, and yet you did not follow it because of the person whom it was spoken through, or because of your own pride in thinking that you knew better, or any other reason?

You want to love God with heart, soul, mind, and strength? Humble yourself before Him and listen for Him speaking to you. When you are having difficulty discerning God’s will for a particular struggle or decision, seek the counsel of parents, pastors, and friends with a humble heart, willing to listen. It may also take humility to confess your own inability to understand a situation, or to cope with a struggle, but as you are faithful to do so, God is faithful to speak and to further your sanctification in the process. God’s part here is to speak truth into your life, to direct you and guide you. Your part is to actively seek that direction and then to follow it diligently.

A Pair of Thoughts

Two short thoughts for the weekend:

Psalm 119:49-50 – “Remember the word to Your servant, in which You have made me hope. This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your word has revived me.”

God has made us hope in His Word. When we go through the trials in life that cause us to truly understand how desperately we need God, there is hope found in His promises to us in Scripture. When we cannot go on alone, we indeed can carry on in the power of the Word. In the deepest distress of our souls we find comfort in the words written for us. We rest in the knowledge that the Word has made our dead souls alive in Christ. By the truth given to us, we can experience a calm that defies all reason. What inexplicable grace is this, that in the midst of such turmoil and confusion, there is hope, there is forgiveness, there is peace.

Philippians 4:6 – “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

And He says to be anxious for nothing. That seems unreasonable, at best, in times of uncertainty. The immediate temptation is to worry, and therefore lose sight of the hope which was brought by the Word. But we are to simply make our requests known to God; lay our hearts bare before the Wonderful Maker. Though He knows the depths of our hearts, there is freedom in pouring out every thought and feeling, every care, and every fear. As we open up with hearts of gratefulness, He washes away all anxiety and replaces it with Himself, the Comforter.