Boy + Girl

Relationships with other believers should be the most important interactions in your life, whether it’s parent to child, husband and wife, guy/guy, girl/girl, or guy/girl. God can use these relationships to work in the lives of both people, if both are faithful to handle whatever relationship it may be with godly character and selfless attitude. While each possible relationship comes with its own challenges, one of the most difficult to handle is that between one male and one female, due to the simple fact that boys tend to like girls, and girls tend to like boys. When this happens, an “ordinary” relationship between a guy and a girl becomes a bit more complicated. Do not misunderstand me here: this is a good thing, a God-ordained thing. The problem begins when you understand that while these feelings are entirely natural, the heart is a fragile part of your being, and one that is given and taken with far too much ease. Solomon, the wisest man to ever live (excepting Christ Himself), gives the charge in Proverbs 4:23 -- "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Solomon knew how important the heart was to one’s identity. You are not called to subdue all of your natural feeling, but to consider our relationship with Christ as the primary influence in your life, to imitate your Savior in your earthly relationships, and to be patient. In doing these things, you will successfully guard your heart with a diligence worthy of God’s calling.

No matter how amazing your family and friends are, and no matter how sweet your earthly fellowship may be, your relationship with God must take priority over all else. As the well-known commandment reads, “you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might” (Deut. 6:5). This doesn’t exactly leave room for loving anything else with all your heart and soul and might, does it? “All” is an inescapable word. Because when you try to split your affection, you take from God what should be wholly His. To paraphrase Louie Giglio, “At some point in a dating relationship you just have to tell the other person: ‘I’m sorry, but you’re not my number one. You can be number two, but you can never be my number one.’” Let Christ take up residence as first in your heart. Then, and only then, will you be ready to reflect that love for Christ into a relationship with someone whom God has purposed for you.

When you have attained that level of spiritual maturity at which you can love God first, and love another as a display of that love, then the next step in guarding your heart is imitating Christ in any relationship of mutual interest between yourself and someone else. Ephesians 5:1-2 says, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.” The love which God showed us through the sacrifice of His Son on a cross was a perfect love, and it was a selfless love. This is the kind of behavior you must model in your relationships. Die to yourself, and your own expectations, and serve others humbly and continually. This selfless attitude will ultimately serve both you and the other person on the road to a pure heart.

And finally, just be patient. Once again Solomon provides advice for life, saying, “…do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (Song of Solomon 8:4). For some of you, this means waiting longer yet for the one whom God will bring into your life. For others, it means that although you may have found your number two (remembering that Christ is your number one), the time is not yet right for you to make known your affections to this person. Do not be anxious, for if this person is indeed part of God’s plan for your life, then they will still be there when the time is right. For others still, this calling to guard your heart through patience may be demanding a change of pace from your current lifestyle. Such must be the measure of your love for God, that you are willing to give up your desires in exchange for His. However, Psalm 37:4 gives the promise, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desire of your heart.” Be faithful to guard your heart and delight in Him foremost of all, and He will bless you with the one whom you have waited for.

Love God first, imitate Christ always, and wait patiently. The call to guarding your heart is not easy, but it’s worth it. In Matthew 5:8, Jesus tells us, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Do you want to see God displayed in your life in a very real way? Guard your heart. Do you want God to be glorified in a mighty way through your testimony? Guard your heart. Do you want to have a part in the greatest love story of all time? Guard your heart.

Just Ask

In 2 Samuel (20:13-22-ish), there is a story of Joab pursuing a man named Sheba, who is the leader of a revolt against King David. After a chase of sorts, Sheba takes refuge in a city called Abel Beth-maacah. Joab, in command of a large batallion of men, begins a siege of the city and intends to take it by force if necessary, just to get to Sheba. As Joab's men begin setting up siege ramps and preparing to topple the wall, a woman calls out from a window of the wall: "Hear, hear! Please tell Joab, 'Come here that I may speak with you'" He stands below her and she begs him to listen to what she has to say. "You are seeking to destroy a city, even a mother in Israel. Why would you swallow up the inheritance of the LORD?" Joab then replies, "Far be it from me that I should swallow up or destroy! Such is not the case. But a man from the hill country of Ephraim, Sheba the son of Bichri by name, has lifted up his hand against King David. Only hand him over, and I will depart from the city." The account goes on to read: "And the woman said to Joab, "Behold, his head will be thrown to you over the wall." Then the woman wisely came to all the people. And they cut off the head of Sheba the son of Bichri and threw it to Joab. So he blew the trumpet, and they were dispersed from the city, each to his tent. Joab also returned to the king at Jersusalem."

It is oftentimes difficult to find application in Old Testament scripture, particularly in the historical accounts, and this passage was no exception for me. Upon reading it I wondered what God could possibly be saying to me, if anything at all. I prayed for clarity and revelation, and in due time God was faithful, as He always is, to grant me understanding of this passage in context with my own life and faith.

Ask for help, my friends. It's as simple as that. How often we are like Joab at first, jumping headfirst toward our goals without stopping to look where we're going! When we have a task to complete, a goal to reach, a sin issue to overcome, a relationship to fix, it is our natural reaction to first attempt the way we think best, and if that doesn't work, then get help later. But how much trouble could we save ourselves by simply humbling ourselves in the first place and seeking the advice and help of someone else?

As Joab almost made the mistake, the first attempt can have harmful consequences. Had the woman not intervened on behalf of the city, Joab would have caused great destruction just to capture Sheba. But he could have likewise avoided this destruction had he simply sought the help of the people of the city in the first place.

Don't follow Joab's initial example of foolishly pursuing your own ideas for accomplishing your goal. Do, however, follow Joab's example of listening to wise counsel when it comes to you. Certainly Joab would have been tempted to respond to this woman in pride, refusing help and believing his own plans more effective, but Joab was able to listen to reason with humility and therefore avoid much trouble and pain to himself and others. You can do better than Joab, too. Seek counsel first, and then pursue a proper course of action. I trust you'll find your spiritual walk a bit easier this way.

Hey Kids, We Could Be The Ones

Born and raised in a Christian home. That's us. Knew every Bible story by heart by the time we were five. That's us. Knew how to carry on a conversation with adults when we were ten. That's us. Knew every word to every praise and worship song in existence. Accepted Christ into our hearts somewhere around the time we were learning to ride our bike. Memorized all the popular scriptures at some point in time, only to forget them a week later. That's us. Quickly learned how to pretend our faith when we turned 12 or so. That's us.

Many of us are second-generation Christians. Our parents were not raised in Christian settings, but they came to know their Savior later in life. They have the advantage of knowing the true changing power of our salvation, because they knew how they were before their conversion. For us though, we've never experienced anything other than Christianity. We have what can sometimes be a disadvantage: having been taught "right" and "wrong" for our entire lives to date. Even if you come from a long-time family of believers, you share in this disadvantage. We've all heard it over and over, that our parents are disappointed in their generation of failure, and they want nothing more than for our generation to be the one that brings revival to this morally declining world. It's easy to get excited about revolutions and revivals, but they will amount to nothing if we cannot understand the basic truths of OUR faith. Our salvation is no less amazing than the salvation of our parents. They may have been living terrible lives even according to the world's standards, but to God's standards we are all living terrible lives. Our salvation is just as huge and dramatic as any there ever was, because we were born sinners the same as everyone else.

Do you understand the full meaning of Christ's redeeming work on the Cross? Do you believe that the Cross forgave you, and that the Resurrection brought your soul to life again? Do you trust that the Bible is the infallible Word of God? Do you realize that you a sinner by nature, but seen as pure and holy by God because of the new life you have been given? Do you understand that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and God created everything about you in a way pleasing to Him? Do you understand why you believe what you believe?

In five or so years, our generation is going to be thrown into the prime of our lives. We'll be on our own. Will our faith stand, though? Do you believe that right now you have a relationship with your God that is going to stand firm through everything the world is going to throw at you in the years to come? You can go through the motions for as long as you like, but if you don't have the heart that believes to back your motions up, you will crumble under the pressures. If you remain in your local church throughout your college years and beyond, are your relationships with the other youth in your church founded solidly upon the truths of God's Word? Are you pursuing godly relationships that will help you band together in years to come in order to make a stand for the Gospel? Are you going to spend your adult years arguing over issues with brothers and sisters in Christ, or showing the love of God to a needy world?

If you aren't building up for yourself a passion for God now, in the days of your youth, what is to say you will have the desire to do so later in life? We are the next generation, expected by the previous generation to be used in a mighty way by God, but all that depends on the choices you are making now. Are you preparing yourself to be a powerful instrument in a movement that could shake this world and everything they believe? Do you even want God to work through you in what could be a turning point in the history of this world?

Spend time in His Word. Pray for God to prepare your heart and mind. Build your relationships with the Christian youth of this world. A cord of three strands is not easily torn apart. How much stronger is a cord of 3000 strands? How about 3 million believers working together to complete the Great Commission? Seek the advice of the passing generation. Soak in their wisdom, learn from their mistakes. We could be the ones. Are you ready to be part of God's revolution?

You

There's someone you're trying to be, and it's destroying who you are. There's something getting in the way of you becoming the amazing child of God who you were designed to be. There are people in your life who you strive to be like, but disappointment awaits you at the end of that road when you discover that you cannot ever be as they are. Those people aren't getting in your way, though. It's you that is the solitary roadblock on the path to your true identity.

Consider your own self right now, and try to discern the themes which pervade every aspect of your life. They may be obvious to you, or you may have to take awhile to honestly figure out what your situation looks like. It is generally understood that the desire for acceptance is a theme in every single human life, but what I want you to consider now is what your specific search for acceptance looks like. If you cannot answer a confident and passionate yes to the question of whether or not you are striving to imitate Christ, and only Christ, then I suggest a restructure.

It is when you model your life after Christ, and strive with all your strength to form every detail of your personality to be like Him who created us in His image, that you will discover who you are meant to be. All the fickle attempts to become who you think you should be, or who the world thinks you should be, will serve only as a hinderance to becoming conformed to the image of Christ. You are amazing. Christ guarantees that; He made you, you see. And He's perfect; He doesn't make mistakes. The question is whether you are embracing the incredible gift of your life's potential, or if you are giving it up for a life of fruitless conformity with the world.

It's not too late, by the way. It is a daily decision. When you wake up tomorrow, are you going to choose to live like Christ, and therefore play the part in the story of God which you were created for? The people in your life need a you. Everybody else is better at being themselves than you are at being them, so don't bother trying to be someone else. But nobody else can ever possibly be better at being you... than you.